V(ixit) an(nos) LII
d(is) M(anibus) Ti(beri) Claudi Secundi
hic secum habet omnia
balnea vina Venus
corrumpunt corpora
nostra set vitam faciunt b(alnea) v(ina) V(enus)
karo contubernal(i) fec(it)
Merope Caes(aris) et sibi
et suis p(osterisque) e(orum)
(CIL VI.15258)

He lived 52 years. To the spirits of the departed Tiberius Claudius Secundus. Here he has everything with him. Baths, wine and Venus [i.e. sex or love] corrupt our bodies, but they make life – baths, wine and Venus. Merope, freedwoman of Caesar made this for her dear companion, herself and their family and their descendants. (tr. Valerie Hope)




Hospes, adhuc tumuli ni meias ossa prec[antur,
nam, si vis (h)uic gratior esse, caca.
Urticae monumenta vides; discede, cacator.
non est hic tutum culu(m) aperire tibi.
(CIL 4.8899)

Stranger, the bones ask you not to piss at this tomb, for, if you want to be more agreeable to this man, shit. You see Nettle’s* tomb; away from here, shitter; it is not safe for you to open your bowels here.

* The point is a pun on the name of the hypothetical deceased (for the name Urtica see CIL 5.3637; it is also known as a female name); as the cacator squats, he is in danger of being stung by an urtica, a nettle.

(tr. Edward Courtney, with his note)


evasi effugi

D.M.S.* L. Annius Octavius Valerianus

evasi, effugi. Spes et Fortuna, valete!
nil mihi voviscum* est, ludificate alios!

* D.M.S. = Dis Manibus Sacris (sacred/dedicated to the spirit-gods). Voviscum is a spelling error for vobiscum. There are several variations on this epitaph.
(CIL 6.11743 = CLE 1498)

I have come through, escaped. Hope and Fortune, farewell. I have no more to do with you; trifle with others. (tr. Archie Burnett)