Uxor

badbreath

“Sed tua morosane uxor, quaeso, est?”—”va, rogas?”
“qui tandem?”—”taedet mentionis, quae mihi,
ubi domum adveni, adsedi, extemplo savium
dat ieiuna anima.”—”nil peccat de savio:
ut devomas volt, quod foris potaveris.”
(Caecilius Statius, Plocium 158-162 Ribbeck)

“But, tell me, is your wife bad-tempered?”
“Well, what a question!”
“Well, how then?”
“It upsets me just talking about it!
Whenever I come home and sit beside her, the first thing she does
Is give me a kiss with that awful breath of hers.”
“She makes no mistake with that kiss—
She wants you to vomit up what you’ve been drinking outside.”
(tr. Matthew Dillon & Lynda Garland)