Tag: Historia Augusta

Saturninus oriundo fuit Gallus, ex gente hominum inquietissima et avida semper vel faciendi principis vel imperii. huic inter ceteros duces, quod vere summus vir esse certe videretur, Aurelianus limitis orientalis ducatum dedit, sapienter praecipiens ne umquam Aegyptum videret. cogitabat enim, quantum videmus, vir prudentissimus Gallorum naturam et verebatur ne, si perturbidam civitatem vidisset, quo eum natura ducebat, eo societate quoque hominum duceretur. sunt enim Aegyptii, ut satis nosti, viri ventosi, furibundi, iactantes, iniuriosi, atque adeo vani, liberi, novarum rerum usque ad cantilenas publicas cupientes, versificatores, epigrammatarii, mathematici, haruspices, medici. nam in eis Christiani, Samaritae, et quibus praesentia semper tempora cum enormi libertate displiceant. ac ne quis mihi Aegyptiorum irascatur et meum esse credat quod in litteras rettuli, Hadriani epistulam ponam ex libris Phlegontis liberti eius proditam, ex qua penitus Aegyptiorum vita detegitur: “Hadrianus Augustus Serviano consuli salutem. Aegyptum, quam mihi laudabas, Serviane carissime, totam didici levem, pendulam et ad omnia famae momenta volitantem. illic qui Serapem colunt Christiani sunt, et devoti sunt Serapi qui se Christi episcopos dicunt. nemo illic archisynagogus Iudaeorum, nemo Samarites, nemo Christianorum presbyter non mathematicus, non haruspex, non aliptes. ipse ille patriarcha cum Aegyptum venerit, ab aliis Serapidem adorare, ab aliis cogitur Christum. genus hominum seditiosissimum, vanissimum, iniuriosissimum; civitas opulenta, dives, fecunda, in qua nemo vivat otiosus. alii vitrum conflant, aliis charta conficitur, omnes certe linyphiones aut cuiuscumque artis esse videntur; et habent podagrosi quod agant, habent praecisi quod agant, habent caeci quod faciant, ne chiragrici quidem apud eos otiosi vivunt. unus illis deus nummus est. hunc Christiani, hunc Iudaei, hunc omnes venerantur et gentes. et utinam melius esset morata civitas, digna profecto quae pro sui fecunditate, quae pro sui magnitudine totius Aegypti teneat principatum. huic ego cuncta concessi, vetera privilegia reddidi, nova sic addidi ut praesenti gratias agerent. denique ut primum inde discessi, et in filium meum Verum multa dixerunt, et de Antinoo quae dixerint comperisse te credo. nihil illis opto, nisi ut suis pullis alantur, quos quemadmodum fecundant, pudet dicere. calices tibi allassontes versicolores transmisi, quos mihi sacerdos templi obtulit, tibi et sorori meae specialiter dedicatos; quos tu velim festis diebus conviviis adhibeas. caveas tamen ne his Africanus noster indulgenter utatur.”
(Historia Augusta, Vitae Firmi, Saturnini, Proculi et Bonosi 7-8)

Saturninus was a Gaul by birth, one of a nation that is ever most restless and always desirous of creating either an emperor or an empire. To this man, above all the other generals, because it seemed certain that he was truly the greatest, Aurelian had given the command of the Eastern frontier, wisely charging him never to visit Egypt. For, as we see, this far-sighted man was well acquainted with the Gallic character and feared that if Saturninus visited this turbulent land he might be drawn by association with the inhabitants to a course toward which he was by nature inclined. For the Egyptians, as you know well enough, are puffed up, madmen, boastful, doers of injury, and, in fact, liars and without restraint, always craving something new, even in their popular songs, writers of verse, makers of epigrams, astrologers, soothsayers, quacksalvers. Among them, indeed, are Christians and Samaritans and those who are always ill-pleased by the present, though enjoying unbounded liberty. But, lest any Egyptian be angry with me, thinking that what I have set forth in writing is solely my own, I will cite one of Hadrian’s letters, taken from the works of his freedman Phlegon, which fully reveals the character of the Egyptians.
“From Hadrian Augustus to Servianus the consul, greeting. The land of Egypt, the praises of which you have been recounting to me, my dear Servianus, I have found to be wholly light-minded, unstable, and blown about by every breath of rumour. There those who worship Serapis are, in fact, Christians, and those who call themselves bishops of Christ are, in fact, devotees of Serapis. There is no chief of the Jewish synagogue, no Samaritan, no Christian presbyter, who is not an astrologer, a soothsayer, or an anointer. Even the Patriarch himself, when he comes to Egypt, is forced by some to worship Serapis, by others to worship Christ. They are a folk most seditious, most deceitful, most given to injury; but their city is prosperous, rich, and fruitful, and in it no one is idle. Some are blowers of glass, others makers of paper, all are at least weavers of linen or seem to belong to one craft or another; the lame have their occupations, the eunuchs have theirs, the blind have theirs, and not even those whose hands are crippled are idle. Their only god is money, and this the Christians, the Jews, and, in fact, all nations adore. And would that this city had a better character, for indeed it is worthy by reason of its richness and by reason of its size to hold the chief place in the whole of Egypt. I granted it every favour, I restored to it all its ancient rights and bestowed on it new ones besides, so that the people gave thanks to me while I was present among them. Then, no sooner had I departed thence than they said many things against my son Verus, and what they said about Antinous I believe you have learned. I can only wish for them that they may live on their own chickens, which they breed in a fashion I am ashamed to describe. I am sending you over some cups, changing colour and variegated, presented to me by the priest of a temple and now dedicated particularly to you and my sister. I should like you to use them at banquets on feast-days. Take good care, however, that our dear Africanus does not use them too freely.” (tr. David Magie)

Fuit igitur superbus et sanguinarius et volens militariter imperare, incusans quin etiam superiorum temporum disciplinam ac solum Severum prae ceteris laudans. nam et in crucem milites tulit et servilibus suppliciis semper adfecit et, cum seditiones militares pateretur, milites saepius decimavit, aliquando etiam centesimavit, quod verbum proprium ipsius est, cum se clementem diceret, quando eos centesimaret qui digni essent decimatione atque vicensimatione. longum est eius crudelitates omnes aperire, attamen unam ostendam non magnam, ut ipse credebat, sed omnibus tyrannicis inmanitatibus tristiorem. cum quidam milites ancillam hospitis iam diu pravi pudoris adfectassent, idque per quendam frumentarium ille didicisset, adduci eos iussit interrogavitque utrum esset factum. quod cum constitisset, duos boves mirae magnitudinis vivos subito aperiri iussit atque his singulos milites inseri capitibus, ut secum conloqui possent, exsertis; itaque poena hos adfecit, cum ne adulteris quidem talia apud maiores vel sui temporis essent constituta supplicia.
(Historia Augusta, Vita Opelli Macrini 12.1-5)

Macrinus, then, was arrogant and bloodthirsty and desirous of ruling in military fashion. He found fault even with the discipline of former times and lauded Severus alone above all others. For he even crucified soldiers and always used the punishments meted out to slaves, and when he had to deal with a mutiny among the troops, he usually decimated the soldiers—but sometimes he only centimated them. This last was an expression of his own, for he used to say that he was merciful in putting to death only one in a hundred, whereas they deserved to have one in ten or one in twenty put to death. It would be too long to relate all his acts of brutality, but nevertheless I will describe one, no great one in his belief, yet one which was more distressing than all his tyrannical cruelties. There were some soldiers who had had intercourse with their host’s maid-servant, who for some time had led a life of ill-repute. Learning of their offence through one of his spies, he commanded them to be brought before him and questioned them as to whether it were really true. When their guilt was proved, he gave orders that two oxen of extraordinary size should be cut open rapidly while still alive, and that the soldiers should be thrust one into each, with their heads protruding so that they could talk to each other. In this way he inflicted punishment on them, though neither our ancestors nor the men of his own time ever ordained any such penalty, even for those guilty of adultery. (tr. David Magie)

“Claudius Broccho. delevimus trecenta viginti milia Gothorum, duo milia navium mersimus. tecta sunt flumina scutis, spathis et lanceolis omnia litora operiuntur. campi ossibus latent tecti, nullum iter purum est, ingens carrago deserta est. tantum mulierum cepimus ut binas et ternas mulieres victor sibi miles possit adiungere. et utinam Gallienum non esset passa res publica! utinam sescentos tyrannos non pertulisset! salvis militibus, quos varia proelia sustulerunt, salvis legionibus quas Gallienus male victor occidit, quantum esset additum rei publicae! si quidem nunc membra naufragii publici colligit nostra diligentia ad Romanae rei publicae salutem.”
(Historia Augusta, Vita Claudii Gothici 8.4-9.2)

“From Claudius to Brocchus. We have destroyed three hundred and twenty thousand Goths, we have sunk two thousand ships. The rivers are covered over with their shields, all the banks are buried under their swords and their spears. The fields are hidden beneath their bones, no road is clear, their mighty waggon-train has been abandoned. We have captured so many women that the victorious soldiers can take for themselves two or three apiece. And would that the commonwealth had not had to endure Gallienus! Would that it had not had to bear six hundred pretenders! Had but those soldiers been saved who fell in divers battles, those legions saved which Gallienus destroyed, disastrously victorious, how much strength would the state have gained! Now, indeed, my diligence has but gathered together for the preservation of the Roman commonwealth the scattered remains of the shipwrecked state.” (tr. David Magie)

Iocabatur sane ita cum servis ut eos iuberet millena pondo sibi aranearum deferre proposito praemio, collegisseque dicitur decem milia pondo aranearum, dicens et hinc intellegendum quam magna esset Roma.
(Historia Augusta, Vita Heliogabali 26.6)

He used, too, to play jokes on his slaves, even ordering them to bring him a thousand pounds of spider-webs and offering them a prize; and he collected, it is said, ten thousand pounds, and then remarked that one could realize from that how great a city was Rome. (tr. David Magie)

Nomen eius, id est Antonini, erasum est senatu iubente remansitque Varii Heliogabali, si quidem illud adfectato retinuerat, cum vult videri filius Antonini. appellatus est post mortem Tiberinus et Tractaticius et Impurus et multa, si quando ea erant designanda quae sub eo facta videbantur. solusque omnium principum et tractus est et in cloacam missus et in Tiberim praecipitatus. quod odio communi omnium contigit, a quo speciatim cavere debent imperatores, si quidem nec sepulchra mereantur qui amorem senatus populi ac militum non merentur.
(Historia Augusta, Vita Heliogabali 17.4-7)

His name, that is to say the name Antoninus, was erased from the public records by order of the senate – though the name Varius Elagabalus was left -, for he had used the name Antoninus without valid claim, wishing to be thought the son of Antoninus. After his death he was dubbed the Tiberine, the Dragged, the Filthy, and many other such names, all of which were to signify what seemed to have been done during his rule. And he was the only one of all the emperors whose body was dragged through the streets, thrust into a sewer, and hurled into the Tiber. This befell him as the result of the general hatred of all, against which particularly emperors must be on their guard, since those who do not win the love of the senate, the people, and the soldiers do not win the right of burial. (tr. David Magie)

Addit etiam illud, quod vinctum fasciola Aurelianum aquila innoxie de cunis levaverit et in aram posuerit, quae iuxta sacellum forte sine ignibus erat. idem auctor est vitulum matri eius natum mirae magnitudinis, candidum sed purpurantibus maculis, ita ut haberet in latere uno “ave” et in alio coronam.
(Historia Augusta, Vita Aureliani 4.6-7)

This, too, is related, that Aurelian, while wrapped in his swaddling-clothes, was lifted out of his cradel by an eagle, but without suffering harm, and was laid on an altar in a neighbouring shrine which happened to have no fire upon it. The same writer asserts that on his mother’s land a calf was born of marvellous size, white but with purple spots, which formed on one side the word “hail,” on the other side a crown. (tr. David Magie)