Hospes, adhuc tumuli ni meias ossa prec[antur,
nam, si vis (h)uic gratior esse, caca.
Urticae monumenta vides; discede, cacator.
non est hic tutum culu(m) aperire tibi.
(CIL IV.8899)

Stranger, the bones ask you not to piss at this tomb, for, if you want to be more agreeable to this man, shit. You see Nettle’s* tomb; away from here, shitter; it is not safe for you to open your bowels here.

* The point is a pun on the name of the hypothetical deceased (for the name Urtica see CIL 5.3637; it is also known as a female name); as the cacator squats, he is in danger of being stung by an urtica, a nettle.

(tr. Edward Courtney, with his note)

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